Youtube and my lack of entertainment from it

While everyone loves that Youtube has been one of the biggest phenomenons in communications, i never really get joy from just searching for random videos, don't get me wrong i have seen my fair share of videos that i think are quite funny and have watched more than a couple times, and the fact that it gets bands out in the open and that it helps people connect and show themselves dancing for absolutely NO reason.. i just don't see it. my roommates are ones to legitimately surf this website for hours.. honestly.. hours!! i can never site on one site for so long until i find something mildly funny and play it 7 million times. i guess i am coming off kind of bitter, i mean it doesn't keep me up at night or anything. i just find it semi-childish. so ultimately this blog is about how i hate my roommates. well that works.

This blog was started due to a class that I am taking and is supposed to be incorporated with media. However this post may not have much, if any at all to do with media. I dont expect points or any of that stuff but it is just stuff that I want to talk about in my life. That is what blogging is about right, talking about whatever comes to mind? well it is almost 5 am on a monday night and i have class at 11 am. While i dont know many of you in this class i dont really think it bothers me that what i am about to write is personal, i think it helps that i dont see any of you on a daily basis. so as we all know this past weekend was valentines day. which if my old relationship it would have also been an anniversary of mine. it is at this junction in my life where this shouldnt hurt, i mean it wasnt a long relationship at all, and honestly i dont feel attached to this specific girl too much, we didnt have a lot in common, we forced the relationship when neither of us were ready but maybe it is just because of the holiday that i am so distrot over the whole situation. so tonight as i laid in my bed i picked out some of the most depressing and yet some of the most romantic songs on my ipod and tried to sleep with a heavy heart. and for me it seems so difficult. to tell the truth the only reason i am blogging is because i hope this will be equivalent to me airing it out to a real person, but i will not know this until im finished with my ranting. and in the spirit of the holiday that had just passed it so happens that i met another person on this day, seems perfect for a romantic like me. i have always loved jestures that are completely loving and adorable so i am one of the few people who admittingly loves valentines day. of course with meeting someone new there are always complication, such as one of your newest friends also likes her. this causes a problem for me specifically because well, as a guy usually we think for ourselves, but with me in my condition and him in an unknown state i am just assuming he is just as messed up as i am. so what do i do? it is tough for me to think about something like this. my mind changes every few minutes about what i want to do. so for the last 20 minutes while i listened to this sad music, and have been chasing two unattainable females in my mind i have decided i have no worries. none, not one. i am over my ex and i am over a girl i was never under. this is what most people strive for right? to be "content" . but what the fuck is content going to do for me! i hate this feeling. it isnt like my heart is "empty" because that makes it seem as if i had lost something, but there is a hole there? no that is even too far. maybe i just thrive off drama? over the last two months my life has been filled with mini dramas, and as much as everyone complains, i live for this stuff.. it is just like in a movie, and im waiting for my happy ending. speaking of a "happy ending" i watched a movie today entitled the last word and the plot is that a poet will meet with people who plan on killing themselves, and he will take notes of their lives and he will compose a beautiful poem that every one of their loved ones will hear at their funeral. he takes no credit for this and he doesnt mind, he feels as if he is doing them a favor. then he falls in love. and this is where the plot comes into play. she takes this guy who is content with his life and she drives him crazy, his career gets ruined and she eventually ruins him (i dont want to tell you the exact ending) but the end to a degree has him without her, sorry spoiler!, but i thought to myself... is this good for him. i feel like most people who are in relationships hit this part where it is just boring and way too relaxed, and i dont think i am ready for it. considering im not ready to do that with myself, and i guess from reading this people may think that i have an attachment disorder that i always need to be with someone, but really i hate relationships, they never work out and they always turn out like shit. it seems like everyone i know around me has either a boring fucking relationship in which they sit around and are just so out of their minds with nothing to do or everyone is just ending their relationships.. one of my best friends just went through a break up. they dated for 5 years.. 5 fucking years!! really? and they ended it for what seems to me (and him) no reason. i mean what is the point though? if they broke up for the fact that they were merely bored with each other then what is the point of dating in the first place. he is now relatively screwed.. he is 21 (as of like a week ago) so he has been dating her since her was 15 (they were almost at 6 years) !!! 15 yrs old they started this relationship. think about that! let it sink in, he hasnt been single since he was 15. if you have been single for most, or any of the time in between your 15th birthday and now (assuming youre 19 to 21 yrs old) just think of everything you have learned. the advice you pick up from people when something goes wrong, the things you realize about yourself when you have a failed relationship. he has none of it! neither does she! it is awful for both of them. he told me that he "doesnt even know how to be single" wtf is that!? i mean i understand why he wouldnt.. if i was him i wouldnt know either. he has never hit on a girl before. he hasnt taken a girl out on a first date in 6 god damn years! holy shit. i cant even count how many first dates ive had since then, how many kisses ive shared with people and all of those things.. he is stuck with one girls memories for the longest time. and i honestly feel bad for him. i mean like i said i had a relationship for a very minimal amount of time and i was kinda broken over it, but he just lost the only girl he knows how to kiss, how to love, how to even talk to as a significant other, i wonder if he is sleeping right now. i wonder if his heart is as "empty" as mine and as fucked up as i am. not just because of one girl, or two girls, or every girl. but for being so fucking boring now. i have no drama, he has no drama. where is my drama!?!?! i need it, i want something to be mad at, i want someone to drive me nuts, because in this day and age that is what everything is about. it is so funny because when i first got to college people always talked about how in college people are so much more "free" and how drama just doesnt exist. i thought it was great at first, then i realized they LIED!!! there is so much every where. you can talk to everyone and they can tell you about some kind of drama they are either a part of or witness first hand that has happened in the last.. hmm weekend? party? night? text message!? who knows but whenever people said that it is drama-less fucking lied. it is full of it, but for me right now, im in a rut. i dont have it, and that worries me, cause this is when i usually do something incredibly stupid. i guess that is why my blog is names i drink for a reason grated it is the title of a book i own, but it also applies to my life in many aspects. maybe soon i will find the drama i need, maybe i just need someone (whether it be a friend or someone more) who can keep me on my toes, and keep me guessing and trying hard to live life. maybe i will meet the one i can be romantic to and eventually be content with!? huh ? who knows. but for now i think im going to continue to drink. it has gotten me this far in life.

The biggest day in media (in my eyes) is coming up in less than 2 days. That is of course Super Bowl Sunday. The day that every person, whether they are a football fan or not will most likely see most of the commercials, and hear about the things that are controversial, and all of that good stuff. For the last 20 years of my life, it seems as if everyone I know is more excited for the commercials that are incorporated with the Super Bowl then the game itself (excluding 4 of them involving the N.E. Pats). I am one of those people actually, I could care less whether the Saints of Colts win, I just want to see the informational and most likely humorous 30 second long shorts that will make me laugh and possibly even change my mind of a product, make me want to buy something I never thought of, or even possibly change my views on a way of life (referring to the Pro-Life commercial that Tim Tebow is going to be a part of, even though I dislike Tebow completely). However, it should be another very intriguing year filled with fun and funny things that will cause people to impulse buy, as well as discuss. All of which is part of the big world of the media and shows how much power it has over us as a society.